Despair
by EvilAngel07
Summary: Despair can do a lot of things to people. What will Hikaru do when Kaoru dies? Will he move on from his twin's death? Or will he succumb to the darkness of despair? Rated M to be safe


**A/N: Hey guys! This is my first fanfic. Hope you like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC**

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"Hikaru!" Kaoru yelled trying to reach his twin as he fell into the pit filled with sharp pointed sticks that would kill him upon impact.

Hikaru struggled against his captor as tears fell down his cheeks. "NO! Kaoru!" he cried desperately. He heard the sickening sound of sticks piercing his brother's body. He saw the younger's body, covered in blood with jagged sticks jutting out of it.

"Kaoru!" he cried in despair.

"Doesn't he look pretty" his captor whispered in the elder boy's ear. He roughly shoved Hikaru away from the pit and started to unbuckle his pants.

That was when the police came. "Freeze! Put you're hands in the air!"

Somebody put a blanket around his shoulders and led him to a seat. "Hikaru, are you alright?" he heard a familiar voice ask him. '_Tamaki'_ he thought vaguely. He didn't answer him though as he tried to blink away the tears that continued to trickle down his face.

"Kaoru" he whispered, watching his twin's mangled body being lifted from the pit and put in a body bag.

Hikaru felt arms wrap around him. He turned and saw Haruhi hugging him. He broke down. He sobbed into Haruhi's shoulder and the tears he had been trying to hold back fell like a waterfall. One by one, the other members of the Host Club wrapped their arms around him, even Kyoya, in attempt to comfort the remaining Hitachiin brother.

_Twp months later..._

Hikaru quit the Host Club a week after his brother's death. He was lost without Kaoru. He couldn't cope with his death and ended up being harsh to others and pushing everyone away. About a month of this, everyone hated him. He was in his own little world again; like he was before the Host Club, but this time, Kaoru wasn't with him.

_'His death was my fault'_ Hikaru often thought. _'If I hadn't suggested we go to the woods when we were bored, we never would've met that lunatic and Kaoru would be alive right now.'_

"I'm sorry, Kaoru. I wasn't able to protect you" he whispered to the pillow his twin used. A tear escaped his eye before he fell into what he hoped was a dreamless sleep.

_Hikaru stirred when he felt somebody shaking him. He opened his eyes and saw Kaoru lying next to him, looking at him with worried eyes._

_"Kaoru!" he exclaimed, hugging him tightly. "You're alive" he whispered._

_"Of course, I am. You looked like you were having a nightmare so I woke you up. Are you alright?" his twin asked._

_Hikaru was so happy to know that it was all a dream. Tears sprang to his eyes and nodded against his brother, hugging him tighter, terrified to lose him again. _

_"You wanna talk about it?" Kaoru asked._

_Hikaru nodded wordlessly. His little brother waited patiently for his brother to talk. About five minutes passed before Hikaru had the courage to speak._

_"I-I lost you..." he whispered pulling away from his twin. "We were bored and I suggested we go to the forest. There , we found a lunatic who tied me up and pushed you into a pit filled with sharp sticks. You fell shouting my name and I couldn't help you. You died and it was all my fault"_

_A moment passed before Kaoru spoke. "What did I look like?"_

_"What?" Hikaru asked, confused._

_"What did I look like when they retrieved my body? Did I look like this?" Kaoru asked, his body twisting and turning until it was what it looked like that day he died. Blood started seeping into the sheets as Hikaru scrambled away. "You're right, Hikaru. It was all your fault. I died because you didn't save me. I died because you let me. You wanted me to die!" he started crawling towards where the elder Hitachiin scrambled to when his body became mangled._

_"I-I'm sorry, K-Kaoru! I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want you to die...I'm sorry!" Hikaru sobbed._

_"LIAR!" Kaoru snarled, lunging at his twin._

"NO!" Hikaru screamed, springing up in bed. He turned to Kaoru's side of the bed, expecting to find him curled up, sleeping. That's when reality hit him hard. '_Oh right,'_ he thought miserably, _ 'he's dead.'_

Tears ran down his eyes once again. _'How many times do I have to wake up like this? How many times will I wake up without you next to me? How many times do I have to dream of your death before I lose my mind?' _ he thought to himself.

He stood up and went inside the bathroom. He stared at his reflection and a pang of guilt and longing hit him. _'How can I live like this when my reflection reminds me of you? Of what happened?'_

"I miss you" he whispered at the mirror.

He closed his eyes and hit the wall nearby. "I can't do this anymore!" Hikaru opened the medicine cabinet finding the razor they kept there. He looked at his reflection once more. "I'm sorry, Kaoru. I'm sorry I couldn't save you" he said before slitting his own throat.

Blood gushed from the wound and slowly, he drowned in his own blood. _'I'm sorry, Kaoru. I'm sorry...' _he thought before his vision turned black and there was nothing but darkness.


End file.
